The Things Molly Would Say

My girlfriend and I were talking last night and I told her that i talked to Molly all of the time and I followed that up with "It's a good thing Molly can't talk." We then started discussing what Molly would possibly say. My girlfriend had a totally different perspective because she thinks Molly does not like her. It doesn't help that Molly may have taken a bite or two out of her. She thinks Molly might say something like "I'm going to act real friendly towards you then bite you on the hand," or "I am not going to let you pet me no matter how cute you say I am." Molly cannot tell all of my secrets because there is some sort of law about how your dog cannot incriminate its owner or something but I believe Molly would say stuff like "Take a whiff of that one!" and "Dan, Did you know we are out of treats?" and "Dan, Mandy (Molly's new roommate) is a dumbass/candyass/ lazyass/ smelly/ass egg sucking dog!" These are just some of the several thousand things she would probably come up with.