Towel Dried And Spit Shined

Any time Molly and I go out in the rain, it turns into a real adventure. The other morning she decided that she was going to dig for moles while it was pouring the rain. She was a muddy mess. Whenever we come back in after it rains, Molly likes to be towel dried. I get one of those big fluffy towels and drape it over her, and I start rubbing her down real good. She loves her back end and her head rubbed especially. She is so thick furred, I never can get her completely dry but she appreciates my effort.

The Look

Anyone who has ever been married or in a relationship for any length of time has had to suffer through "the look." The look is the look you get from your significant other whenever you have allegedly screwed up, said or done something out of line, or have not done anything at all (my personal favorite). It is a look of scorn and derision that questions your sanity, intelligence, and your manhood. All of this rolled into one look. It is a little known fact but female dogs also have a look of their own. I get it from Molly when I let her food bowl run empty or her water bowl run dry or I run out of treats. Molly doesn't have to make a sound because I know I have committed a major sin of dog diva ownership.

Not A Chick Magnet

Some puppies and dogs are just natural chick magnets. Molly is not one of those. If anything, Molly is a chick repellant. One fierce look from her and a little bit of a growl and there is not a woman that will come within 50 yards of me. She is a beautiful dog, she just has the personality of a Portuguese Man O'War. She only displays her personality around me and my ex-wife and saves her display of disdain for others that I encounter in my life. She always makes sure she wedges her way in between me and my "friends", has backed up and farted on one, bit one on the ass (that was actually my ex-wife), and we use any means necessary to keep me away from bad influences. What a dog. Maybe she is just getting even with me for getting her fixed when she was young but that was just part of the deal when I got her from the Animal Shelter.

In Tune

As far as living creatures go, your dog is more in tune with how you feel both physically and mentally than any human being probably ever will be. Molly pretty much knows how I feel at all times. She knows when I am hurting and she is there to protect me from harm. She also knows when I am depressed and she is there to cheer me up and make me feel better. I see so many homeless people at Wal-Mart with dogs and that is the one thing that they will not give up. They will give up their cars, their houses, and their valuables but they will not give up their dog. I can understand that. Sometimes it may not be fair to their dog but I can understand and respect their decision. Molly is the most valuable thing I share.

Molly Is A Tom Boy

Molly is a Tom Boy dog if there ever was one. I took her out this afternoon and she has her face in the dirt, her paws are dirty, and she is loving every second of it. She is after a mole and she looks up and she has dirt all over her nose and she is trying to dig deeper no matter how dirty she is. She doesn't even try wiping the dirt off. That is my dog. There is another dog in the neighborhood and she is fairly new to the complex but her owner has her dressed up in a pink leash with a matching pink harness and the owner even has pink doo doo bags for the dog. I call both of them Paris Hilton. I don't know whether to feel sorry for the dog or applaud the owner for making such a weenie fashion choice. Molly says forget the applause, call them both weenies, and be done with it.

The Art Of The Belly Rub

There is no better feeling in this world than laying down on the floor beside your dog after a long, hard day and administering a good belly rub. It is almost like you are transferring all of the tension from your day to the belly of your dog in a soothing, circular pattern. Believe me, Molly's belly is big enough to absorb a lot of tension. Molly will lay on the floor and growl at me when she is ready but she is ready at most any time.

Sleeping Beauty and Prince Charming

Molly and I are never going to be confused with Sleeping Beauty and Prince Charming but we had a sleep-a-thon for the ages today. With all of the snoring and farting going on, the only thing we needed was a third stooge and we would have been perfect. Molly would wake me up once in a while to take her out and that was about it. I have slept more in the past three days than I hav e in the past three months. I think Molly is finally becoming a bad influence on me.

Under The Weather

I have been feeling under the weather since last Friday and it feels like I have been sleeping about 16 to 18 hours a day. Molly has been right there beside me every nap of the way. I can't be outside too awful much because the weather has been wet and chilly and not conducive to feeling good. Molly doesn't quite get that concept but I will make it up to her. I have discovered a new treat she likes and that is peanut butter crackers. Molly still prefers the old standards better but a treat is a treat.

"You're In My Spot"

Molly likes to quote the famous television character Sheldon Cooper when she tells me "You're in my spot." She needs the room to get a running start to jump up on the bed so she will come and woof at me and tell me to scoot over so she can get on the bed. I am still in the throes of a fever and I must have had a really rough last night because I twisted the sheets, electric blanket, and bed cover into a huge knot. Sometime in the middle of the night, Molly decided she had had enough and gave me plenty of space by sleeping in her pet bed the rest of the night. No wonder she was so grouchy when she got up and so happy to see me go to work this morning. I practically had her paw in my ass as I went out the door.

Sometimes Even Dogs Need A Helping Hand

Molly is almost 11 years old now and she has a hard time jumping up on the bed when it is nap time or time to go to bed. I first noticed it last week and with her I believe it is more psychological. She will stand at the end of the bed and whine aq little bit and I can feel her pawing at the bed. I will drag myself up and I never half to put a hand on her. I will stand behind her and she will get a jogging start and jump up on the bed like she is an Olympic High Jump Champion. I will stand behind her until I can no longer stand because I know she has done the same for me.

Hamming It Up

Molly has decided that a piece of ham is a perfectly fine substitute when I run out of treats for her. The only time it is not a good substitute is when she wakes me up at 1 AM to go outside to use the bathroom. When she does that, she is not getting anything as she got to experience last night. Granted, her waking me up is better than the alternative of her taking a big dump right under my nose.

Let It Snow

Molly loves snow and the cold weather. It was snowing when we got up this morning and we had to go take a walk in that so she can chase the snowflakes and soak in the natural beauty of snow. We then had to take a walk this afternoon in the blustery wind and mind numbing cold so she could pick out the exact right spot to go to the bathroom. She smelled every bush within a 300 yard radius of our apartment. I got to love my Molly.

Barney, The Former First Dog

It was with great sadness that Molly and I read this morning of the passing of former First Dog Barney, a black Scottish Terrier owned by President George W. Bush. He was 12 years old and died from lymphatic cancer. It is a sad day when any dog dies but Barney was a great representative of his breed and he also represented how important dogs can be on the international scene. That would have been a Secret Service Detail I would have loved to have been on would have been to guard Barney. He greeted heads of state and other dignataries and became an internet sensation in 2002 when he gave a walking video tour of the White House around the holidays. He will be buried on his ranch in Texas. Mine and Molly's condolences go out to the Bush family and they are always free to contact us if they would like to talk and share their memories of Barney.

Taking It On The Chin

There is an old marketing addage that goes something like "If you want loyalty, buy a dog." Right now, my dog is the only one being loyal to me. I really hate what I am going to have to do in the next couple of weeks because being all about business is not my style. It may even cost me my job. I have tried to create a culture of family and friendship in my job but now that has been turned against me. The wolves are at the door, and I have to do what I have to do no matter what the out come. At the end of the day, Molly will still be loyal and she will be my best friend no matter what anyone says or thinks about me. She will be happy to see me at the end of the day, she will enjoy our long walks, and she will enjoy cuddling up beside me no matter how many bean burritos I have had.