Our Apartment Is Cursed

Molly and I are of the belief that my apartment at Woods Edge is cursed. We get locked out a couple of weeks ago, and on my day off, the sink starts leaking, and the pilot light on my oven goes out. Last night it got even better. It had been raining since early in the day and right as I got into bed, the ceiling right above my bed starts leaking. I have yet to figure out how my ceiling leaks because I live on the second floor and the lady that lives above me's bedroom is right over me. There should be no water to leak. Since I had had such a rousing success calling our 24 hour maintenance number when I got locked out, I decided to just pull my mattress out into the living room and Molly and I slept there. I was pissed but I needed some sleep. I tried to look at it as the kind of "adventure" you have when you're a kid. Camping out in the backyard, visiting the haunted house in the neighborhood, and that kind of thing. The thrill of the adventure didn't last long.

Molly And Pops

My father passed away six years ago today. It was later in his life that me and my father established more common ground than we ever did when I was a teenager. One of those pieces of common ground was our love of dogs. I have been around dogs since the day I was born and even in old family photos and videos there is always a dog present. A lot of there names have been lost to memory, but they were still a very large part of my upbringing and maybe even a bigger part of the family. Pops could be friends with any dog and within minutes would have it doing stupid pet tricks that would have made him a star on David Letterman and an overnight sensation. There is one exception to every rule and unfortunately, Molly was that exception. It wasn't for lack of effort on Pops behalf but Molly was bound and determined she was not going to have anything to do with him. We had a cookout at my house one afternoon and Pops spent the better half of three hours out there at Molly's dog lot trying to make friends with her while the rest of us ate hot dogs and hamburgers and played backyard football. Molly's lot had a platform that the pen stood on and Pops would sit on one side, Molly would move to the other. Molly would woof and snarl and Pops would just look at her, holding out the slimmest of hopes that they could be friends but it wasn't meant to be. They would change sides of the platform but it was the same reaction and the same result. Pops couldn't understand why and the rest of the family really couldn't either but Molly has only been loyal to two people in her life, and that is me and Kathy. I miss Pops dearly and his dogs have slowly started passing away one by one. Whenever I see the movie All Dogs Go To Heaven I think of my father because I am sure they are all following him around in heaven, fetching his hat, singing Happy Birthday in an off key howl, and taking long walks and naps with him.

.....And A Wrestling Match Broke Out

There are days, and today was one of them, where mine and Molly's walks turn into wrestling matches. She is going to do what she wants to do and go where she wants to go come hell or high water. I know my neighbors think I am dragging her through the neighborhood against her will (and in a way I guess I am), but some days that is about the only way we are going to complete our "walk." She has to stop and smell where every dog before her peed, she has to dig for moles, and she has to find the right briar bush to crawl under to take a dump. The moles are the worst. She buries her nose all the way up to her eye balls into the dirt trying to sniff out her prey and I'll admit, she has killed a few but I don't have the time to wait on her and it is not my yard she is tearing the hell out of. Today after I pulled myself out of the briar patch she insisted on getting us entangled in, I would have sent her flying out of there with my boot in her ass, if she wasn't so far ahead of me. Then we come in to take a nap and she curls up beside me all sweet and innocent and how can you be mad at someone like that?

The Pet Will

The other day sitting in the breakroom I heard one of the older ladies talking about their will and their children. Since Molly is my "child" I am naturally going to leave everything to her. Rich people can get away with that and they are considered "eccentric." I am a poor slob, own virtually nothing, and would be considered "crazy" for doing that for my dog. Both my older sister and my ex-wife said they would take her in which would be well and good but I emphasized the fact that Molly would have to be able to live in the manner she was accustomed to. That would be sleeping on the bed and whatever other piece of furniture she wanted, getting treats two or three times daily, and taking long walks at her leisure as often as she wanted to. Both my sister and my ex balked at one or all of those particulars so the search will continue. I do have to think about what is best for Molly.

The Adventures Of Dan And Molly..... Part II

The 911 Operator said he would send a unit and I waited about 30 more minutes and I was really cold by this time and thinking about the possibility of frostbite. Molly and I were walking the neighborhood the entire time and none of my neighbors even had the decency to call the cops on me. Finally I hear this big rumbling noise and a hook-and-ladder truck from the Asheville Fire Department rounds the corner. With my father being a volunteer fireman for about 30 years, I was extremely embarrassed by this but also extremely grateful. They pulled up and I apologized for them having to do this. They seemed extremely upset because evidently the Asheville Police Department was supposed to be on the scene but weren't and they never did show up. The three Firemen got out of their truck and it was at about that point and time Molly felt threatened by these three men walking towards me, and tried biting the closest one which pissed him off. My dog protects me and she didn't know these three men so she sprang into action. What did he expect? It took them about 30 minutes to get inside my apartment and luckily I could still dead bolt it. Molly ran right into the bedroom and jumped up on the bed and buried herself under the covers. That was when I knew she was cold and very tired. I had to turn around and head to work. I never did have a chance to warm up. The maintenance guy finally called me at about 8 AM, 5 1/2 hours after the fact. I should take Molly down to the apartment office and let her chew on some ass. We both had a rough night and spent about 1 1/2 hours out in 20 degree weather.

The Adventures Of Dan And Molly Never End Part I

Molly and I can perform the simplest task that we do everyday and it somehow turns into an adventure. I have been having to go in at about 3:30 AM every day this week so Molly and I have had to adjust her walking schedule by about 1 to 2 hours in the mornings. This morning I woke up at 12:48 AM and could not go back to sleep. A little after 2:15 I decided to take Molly for her walk so I could try to make it into work a little bit earlier. It was really cold last night, about 20 degrees. It was also a very clear night. I had a great view of the Moon and you could see the planet Jupiter very clearly a few degrees to the Southeast. Molly did her business very quickly and we started to head back into the apartment. I never lock the door as I have never had a need to. The door handle has a latch that you press down to open the door with. I grabbed the door handle and when I pressed down with my thumb, all I heard was a snapping sound and a metallic clang as the lever broke and went bouncing across the cement landing in front of my door. Molly walked over a few feet, sniffed the broken latch, and looked up at me for an answer. I said, "Molly, we are in trouble!" The door would not open, and a few hard kicks later, still would not open. Molly and I had already been outside about fifteen minutes by this time. I called our 24 hour maintenance number and all I got was voicemail. That pissed me off as it did the next two times I called it. Molly and I were freezing by this time. I finally ended up having to call 911 to report it because by this time, Molly and I had been outside about an hour.

Sleeping Beauty

I was watching the NFC Championship game between San Francisco and Atlanta this afternoon and Molly decided to nap in front of the TV. She always arranges her couch pillows just so, tries it out, readjusts, and tests it out, before she lays down for her nap. She looks so peaceful and content when she sleeps. That is the sign of a happy dog. Molly has turned naptime into an art form anyway and I have got enough pictures to prove it.

Ticks In January

I found two ticks on Molly this morning and it is in the middle of January in the mountains of Western North Carolina. I was really surprised and if they are appearing already then it is going to be a long flea and tick season. I don't think we have had a long enough sustained cold spell in order to kill them off from last season. Molly and I enjoy our walks in the woods. This time of year that is usually the last thing we have to worry about is the creepy crawlers. I had to pull the one off Molly with a pair of tweezers and I was surprised she let me do it without too much complaint. This one was entrenched and took a little bit of effort (and a little bit of a bald spot on Molly) to pull this one off. The hair will grow back, at least that is what I keep telling Molly.

Late Night Trips

Usually I try to take Molly out for her last bathroom trip right before we turn in for the night. Last night, Molly was already ensconced in her usual spot on my bed, when I tried to get her to go out. It was still kind of rainy and Molly took a real slow walk down the steps. It was like she was walking down the gallows to the electric chair. She even kept looking behind her to see if anyone was going to give her a stay of execution. I did not have my phone on me for the governor to call so she was going whether she liked it or not. I believed that making her go now was better than the alternative of waking me up at 2:30 in the morning. She went rather quickly, my apartment still smelled like a wet dog, but at least I'll get to sleep in.

See Ya Later, Dozer!

A next door neighbors are moving out today and I stopped by and talked to Dozers owners yesterday while they were outside and I honestly don't remember their names but I will miss Dozer. I will miss his beautiful spirit and his Puppy energy. He came and untied my shoe for me, licked my legs, and practiced his surprise attack on me while me and his owners were talking. The more I thought about it, the more I came to realize that I know just about all of the dogs names in the neighborhood but I know none of the owners. In that resprct, I am like my father. I identify with the dogs and not the owners.

Location, Location, Location

Molly tends to agree with most real estate dealers and business owners that the key to success is location. The key to Molly using the bathroom is the location in which she chooses to go and she has developed a pattern. In the afternoons it is at the front of the property in the woods, the late afternoons, it is the curve near the office, and before we turn in for the night, it is by the fire hydrant. The fire hydrant is a standard that Molly can't quite let go of. It is like the Mom n' Pop General store for dogs. Molly doesn't mind searching for the right location either, no matter how long it takes.

Sleeping In

On a rare occasion Molly likes to sleep in and as it turns out, it is usually on a Sunday morning. This morning was one of those rare occasions. She slept in until about 7:30 and I even had to go get her to see if she wanted to go out. It was balmy for a Sunday in January and that is always nice for Molly. I open the sliding glass door and she lays there and takes in the breeze, says hello to all of her friends as they walk by throughout the day, and naps off and on. That is a perfect day for man and dog alike.

It'll Be OK

My incredibly bad week was highlighted by todays breaking of the drive belt on my car so now I am without a car until sometime next week. I immediately came home and starting making the appropriate phone calls- automotive repair shop, finding a tow truck driver, looking up the problem on the internet and trying to self-diagnose. When I am uptight or worried about something I pace when I am on the phone. I opened up the sliding glass door to the balcony so I could extend my pacing zone and Molly just got out of my way and watched me. She watched me with a concerned intensity that only a dog can pull off. She knew I was upset and she watched every step I took and she decided a good walk would help and it did. Molly knows how to put things in perspective and say "it'll be ok. One way or another, it'll be ok."

A Long, Hard Day

A dog is a perfect companion to come home to at the end of a long, hard day. They are happy to see you, they want to spend time with you, and all they want is some attention. Dogs give off such a positive energy and all you have to is sit back and absorb it and feed off it. It really helped me today because it seemed like the world was out to get me. All I had to do was feed off Molly's positive energy and let my bad day be absorbed by it. A nice, relaxing walk was what the doctor ordered and Molly led the way.

Go Away Kid, You Bother Me

While Molly and I were out for our last walk of the evening tonight, Dozer and his owner came down the steps right behind us. Dozer might be the only dog, albeit a puppy, that Molly pays zero attention to. Molly saw Emily holding Dozer and she just turned and walked away. Molly did not make a sound. Dozer might be the only dog in the neighborhood that Molly would not have tried to jump on. I think it is funny as hell. For reasons unbeknownst to me, Dozer buffaloes Molly and she can't get over it. It is kind of cool that Molly doesn't try to hurt him. She does have a little bit of heart and she is not a bully.

"Can You Quit Licking Your Ass For Two Minutes?"

Every once in a while, I see something on TV that reminds me of Molly. The other night I was watching the Big Bang Theory and Koothrapali had received a phone call from the Human Resources Department so he could receive a pep talk about sexual harassment and he starts talking to the dog. He says "Could you stop licking your ass for two minutes? I've got problems here!" That so reminded me of Molly. No matter how severe the crisis I can always depend on Molly to be licking her ass. I couldn't help but laugh. Molly could possibly turn ass licking into an event at the Westminster Dog Show.

Love Thy Neighbor

Molly and the yappers upstairs got into it twice today and I am hoping there is not a third time in my immediate future. It was cold last night and this morning and these dogs came out dressed in their little sweaters looking all cute and stuff (deep down I wanted to kick their asses. Dogs, have some respect for yourselves, do not let your owners do this to you!). Molly is like an aging gunfighter in the Old West. You know you are not as fast or as tough as you used to be, but you cannot turn down a challenge. Molly is not doing me any favors with neighborly relations and I apologized to their owner when I met her for anything Molly might do now or in the future. Well, the future is now. It is not all Molly's fault. They woof and bark just as much if not more and the Lhasa Apso has to get the last bark in. Molly would like to employ the Red Foreman philosophy of putting her foot in their ass. It's free.

Forgive And Forget

Dogs have the amazing ability to forgive human beings no matter what they have done. Molly forgives me all the time when I get mad at her and call her unsavory names at 3 AM when she needs to go out to use the bathroom. I always apologize later because her waking me up is better than the alternative of her taking a dump in my bedroom. Other dogs getting any kind of forgiveness is out of the question. We ran into the new dogs that live upstairs, a Lhaso Apso and a Dachsund, and I mean literally ran into and they started woofing, barking and posturing and Molly wasn't about to take any lip off them. It will be much worse the next time she sees them because she is not going to forgive or forget that one.

Staying With The Status Quo

Molly and I both hate change. We are comfortable the way things are and we want them to stay that way. Molly does not like the old dogs that are here so why would she like the new dogs that are moving in? My lease is up at the end of February and I do not know exactly what to do. I had better get used to apartment living because due to my financial circumstances, I will never have to worry about owning a house again. I don't mind apartment living. A lot less to take care of and I have never been much of a housekeeper. Molly is used to it (I believe) and all of the posessions in it are the more familiar ones that we have known for years. If Molly has a say in it, we will stay here.

Ringing In The New Year

Molly and I rang in the new year much like we have many of the past several years- asleep. I do vaguely remember waking up a little after Midnight and hearing our naighbor congradulate Dozer on using the bathroom in the front yard beside the sidewalk. Now there is a reason to celebrate. It was a really chilly and rainy night so I got to smell wet dog all night long. It is a very distinct smell that really sticks with you. And sticks on you. The new Years Resolutions will come later, not that we are going to keep them anyway.

2012- A Year Of Change

Molly and I saw a lot of change in 2012. We moved from a house to an apartment and a new city. Molly had to get used to a lot of dogs being around rather than just Honey, the Boxer next door, and it has been a tough adjustment for her. We are going thru it together, and that is the way it should be, a man and his dog facing life and all it has to offer. When my father was dying of cancer in early 2007, he spent almost all of his last remaining time with his dogs and I never really understood why. Now, thru Molly, I am getting a better understanding of that. I cannot wait to leave work and see Molly because she is one of the few beings on this planet genuinely happy to see me at the end of my day. Molly listens with great interest about my goings on of the day, raising her eyebrows at the appropriate time and grunting when she needed to. Molly is always up for a nap and she can be a snuggle buddy when I need her to be. We are both getting older and slowing down but we will make it thru 2013 just like we did 2012- at our own pace, slowing down to smell the roses when we want to and running thru the fields chasing a rabbit when we have the energy.