Molly Can Be Bribed

I discovered yesterday that Molly can be bribed and her bribe of choice is Kentucky Fried Chicken. I had a house guest over to watch some NFL football and we stopped by KFC to pick up some lunch. My house guest decided to be brave and hold some chicken out for her and she readily accepted it. Molly was very gentle about it though and Molly may have even redefined "finger lickin' good." Molly was more accepting of my house guest's presence after that but Molly is not quite trusting of her enough to let her pet her but she is getting very close. A few more chicken dinners and we might be there.

The Language Of Bacon

Molly and I have spent 11 1/2 fabulous years together. In that time together, I have been able to interpret all of Molly's barks, facial expressions, and body language. Molly has a different bark for when she is out of water, when she needs out, and when someone is at the door. Her facial expressions tell me when she understands something I have said or she has sympathy for my condition or she wants to know what the hell I am doing or where in the hell are you going. She has a completely different body language for when she is out of food (she takes her paw and flips the bowl over to show me that yes indeed, the bowl is empty) and one for when she wants attention or needs her back scratched. The most powerful language of all might be the smell of frying bacon. That can bring her out of the deepest of slumbers and make her magically appear by my side in the kitchen in a matter of seconds. I have always heard that fear is a great motivator but I believe that the smell of bacon is even more powerful.

Reading Material

I just got through reading My Dog: The Paradox by Matthew Inman, aka "The Oatmeal". It was a very short book but it was a work of pure genius. This is the kind of stuff that I wanted to write for Molly's World. Irreverent, funny, and just basic observations on what the world is like through a dog's eyes. When I was reading the part about his dog licking his balls all the time, Molly was munching on her ass like it was the buffet at Shoney's. Mr. Inman brought up the question "Does my dog even know my name?" I am thinking "probably not".

Molly Gets A Present

Molly gets some Christmas presents every year and they usually involve food and treats. One year she got a food bowl and water bowl (which she currently still uses) from a stripper that was trying to get on her good side (that didn't happen). This year I/she got an Appalachian State dog leash purchased at the Woofgang Bakery in Biltmore Park and that is the best dog leash she has ever had. I am a proud ASU alumni and now Molly is a proud ASU dog and we use the leash with pride. To be honest, I doubt Molly really knows the difference but it is definitely the most unique dog leash in my neighborhood.

Molly's Present To Me

I believe Molly felt guilty when it came Christmas morning and she hadn't gotten me anything. So that afternoon when I took her out for a walk she quickly dug out a mole in front of the apartment complex, killed it, and carried it around in her mouth and I could not get her to spit it out. She peed twice and even took a dump while carrying that mole around in her mouth. I could not get her to spit that thing out until we got back into the apartment and she quickly spit it out onto my hallway floor. About the only thing she did not do was put a bow on it. She was proud of it. I was pissed but she was very thoughtful and presented her gift like she has never done before.

Molly's Christmas Wish

Molly's Christmas list goes out to all rescue dogs every where. Molly wishes that rescue dogs every where could find a nice warm home with a loving family with dog treats every morning, nice long walks every morning and afternoon and a family that will love them and take care of them until the end of their days. The shelters are filled with rescue dogs (and cats too) that need good homes that will be grateful and treat you like a king. He will also be your best friend.

Another Year Wiser

After taking the weekend off for my birthday, Molly and I are back with a vengeance. I would love to say that we are back another year wiser but to those of us that know us, that is always up for debate. I did help rescue a lost and stranded cat on my birthday and it is such a beautiful creature. I was wise enough to not bring it home with me and introduce it to Molly. I gave it the temporary name of "Claus" since it was find right at Christmas time and we are currently tried to find a home for it. It was obviously domesticated and not afraid of dogs (chihuahua's anyway) and a very people friendly cat. It was just scared and hungry and we did the right thing. Now I just hope we can find its former owner or its forever home.

But I Really Have To Go

I do have to give Molly credit for one thing and that is the ability to hold it more than any dog I have ever known. She woke me up at 2:30 the other morning trying to indicate that she had to go. As I have grown older I have gotten much less tolerant of being woken up at that time of morning so I am pretty sure she got yelled at and I may have even chased her around the apartment. When I finally did take her out a little after 7 AM, she filled about three of those little poop bags full. Every time we stopped I think she took that as a sign that she had to take a dump. However, she did get it all out of her system.

Rollin' With The Sun Beam

Whenever I am at home during the day, I open up the blinds and let the sun in especially when it is cold outside. The sun helps heat my apartment. It also makes Molly nice and sleepy so she will be able to squeeze in another nap. Like she needs another one. She kind of follows the sun beam around the living room floor until the shade takes over again. I started getting a headache and the bright light wasn't making it any better. You would think I had been rolling in the Jim Beam. I closed the blinds a little bit early today. As soon as I shut the blinds Molly snapped awake like I had kicked her or something and she has been pouting for the rest of the day. I guess the sun does feel kind of good and is therapeutic even for those in the dog kingdom. You can just wrap yourself in the warmth of a sun beam and drift away.

The Wet Dog

As Molly has gotten older, she has become less inclined to outside in the rain. It has gotten to the point where she has flat out refused to go out in the rain. We will get to the top of the steps and she will look out at the rain and turn around and go straight back to my apartment door. The funny thing about that is that if I do get her outside in a slight drizzle, she will be more than happy to dig through an acre of mud if she even smells a hint of a mole or some other underground varmint. The claws will be digging, the mud will be flying, and her nose will be buried in the mud hole up to her eyeballs. To paraphrase the words of Clint Eastwood, I guess a dog has to have its priorities.

I Am Glad You're Home

Whenever I have been gone, even for a couple of hours, Molly acts like she has not seen me in years. She cannot get enough attention and I don't really understand it but i just roll with it. I am glad someone misses me. After an hour or two, the thrill is gone and she is back to her napping self. She is getting kind of like me- old and tired. She doesn't want to go out any more as soon as I get home and she is always ready, willing, and able to take a nap and she also doesn't want out as much. That is fine by me because I don't want out as much, either.

A Hypnotic Spell

I have always heard that if you rub an Alligator's belly you can put him in a hypnotic trance. Molly must be part alligator. I can start rubbing her belly or patting her chest and Molly gets this look of sheer joy and contentment on his face. Every once in a while her leg will start flapping like a sheet in the wind and I don't know if it is reflex or if it is a reaction to a good belly rub. It is not only "music hath charms that will sooth the savage breast" but a good belly rub will do the trick as well. Molly knows how to get what she wants.

Some Molly Time

The time off from work due to injury has allowed me to spend some quality time with Molly. It has done me and her both a world of good. Late night walks in the nut freezing cold, sleeping late, and afternoon naps. Molly especially likes the afternoon naps but she still hogs the damn bed. They will not let me take her to physical therapy with me. It might be her unfriendly demeanor but I think Molly would make a great therapy dog. I think it would keep my Physical Therapist on her toes if she was afraid she was going to get bit every time she caused me pain. I would laugh and they say laughter is the best medicine.

Dog Owners Are A Different Breed

Dog owners themselves are a different breed. We love talking about our dogs, showing pictures of our dogs (I have more pictures of Molly than anyone else I know or have been with), and most of the time, we treat our dogs like they are our children. Everyone has a funny story (usually hundreds) to tell about their dog. Dog owners are compassionate people- mostly to other dogs. I have seen people that will go out of their way to help an injured or a sick dog but would not give a plugged nickel to help a fellow human being. I guess it is because most of the people can control their own circumstances where as dogs can't. I was talking to an old friend last night and naturally our talk eventually turned to our dogs, both past and present. I have been around dogs ever since the day I was born because my father was a dog lover/owner. The first family pet I remember was Midnight, a black poodle, that I basically grew up with. I have only been a dog owner for about 15 years now and Molly has been the longest lasting of the bunch. A lot of times Molly and I are the only two left standing.

Dogrobics

I believe I may support Molly in her effort to put out a "Dogrobics" video. She has perfected this routine where she lays flat on the back and starts kicking her back legs and flailing them about and letting out little growls of happiness. I think it would outsell anything Richard Simmons ever did.

That Sweet Doggie Face

I was sitting in my easy chair a few minutes ago and Molly came up and sat down in front of me and looked at me with such a sad, heartfelt doggie face and those dark brown eyes were filled with such caring and concern. I realize I have the ability to be completely selfish as I proved last week but my dog loves me unconditionally. Molly knows that I am in pain, and that I am sad, and that I am miserable. That is all about my attitude and I am working hard to change it. I am wanting someone to give me some answers and maybe it will be Molly. She is the wizened ild gal of 11 1/2 years old now and she has been with me thru the worst of everything my life has had to offer and everything life has thrown at me. I have survived it all and a lot of that is because of Molly. She has been there for me every step of the way.

A Different Breed

Molly is a Mixed Breed dog that I rescued from an animal shelter. She is also a very different breed of dog. She is very aloof and standoffish and she has never been your typical lap dog. She only wants attention when she wants and only on her time table. I had a German Shorthair named Maxc who weighed about 80 pounds and he thought he was a lap dog. That usually turned into a painful experience. That dog craved attention no matter how he had to get it. He also had a little bit of Houdini in him, escape artist extraordinaire, but luckily nothing bad ever happened to him. He was a beautiful dog and I will be the first to admit that I cried like a baby when he died. Maggie was also a Mixed Breed and a very sweet, gentle dog and was definitely not the Alpha Dog that Molly is. The good thing about Mixed Breed dogs is that they are all relatively healthy. They do not come with diseases and conditions that some pure bred dogs bring to the table. Molly has bad hips and i have often wondered if it has anything to do with the different positions she contorts herself into licking and scratching her butt. Molly disagrees.

Wake Up, I Need Some Attention

I do not know what Molly's problem has been the past three nights but she has gotten into the bad habit of waking me up at about 2:30 in the morning, all for seemingly various reasons. The first night it was because there was something outside she wanted to tell me about. The second night she neede help getting up on the bed and since I was already asleep, I seemed like a natural to get up and do it. At least according to Molly. Last night, she had to wake me up so she could be petted, I am assuming. Her hairy butt about got petted with my foot. Being the animal lover that I am, I petted her enough to keep her content until I fell back asleep. At least she didn't need outside.

My Warm Blanket

This entry is in Molly's own words. My owner, Dan, just wrote an entry about his warm blanket on his blog Dan Dates Again and here is my take on that. He will not let me under the blanket while he is in bed so all I get to experience is the top of the blanket. When I snuggle up beside him, it is plenty warm enough because he is like an electric blanket. The real joy in the blanket is when he gets up to leave for the day. He has got the bed all nice and warm for me and I burrow under the blanket, adjust the pillows just right, and I am good for another 8 or 9 hours of sleep. If I get to bed early enough, I always get in his spot, fix everything the way I want it, but he always makes me move. He claims I am a "bed hog." I can't complain. The bed beats the cold, hard floor any day.

The Early Wake Up Call

It is a rare occasion that I get to sleep late and sleeping late for me is 6:30 or 7. I had a roommate in college who could sleep until 3 PM on Saturday and Sunday morning. I slept great last night. That is until something was upsetting Molly at 4:15 this morning and she felt compelled to tell me about it. I never even fully woke up to know what she was barking at but it was something in the parking lot. It was probably someone trying to break into my car again. I am pretty sure I told her to be quiet and tried to go back to sleep. I successfully did without any more interruptions from Molly. I remember putting her back on the bed so she could go back to sleep as well.